The Peanut Butter and Celery Diet: Weight Loss At Its Simplest.

Español: Mantequilla de maní
Español: Mantequilla de maní (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I like peanut butter.  It’s always been a comfort food for me.  So when I got tired of eating Timothy Ferriss‘ Slow Carb diet, I switched to peanut butter and celery, with a salad for dinner.

For those of you trying the Timothy Ferriss diet, be very aware that he evidently has the colon of a dog, and doesn’t end up constipated eating his body weight in meat.  Personally, I found it horrible and it didn’t work for me because my body doesn’t lose weight with salt.  The meat all has some salt, often large quantities.  So sorry, Tim, your study of two (himself and his dad, who evidently shares his short colon) doesn’t mean that we can all follow in your footsteps and become buff (also bald due to extreme testosterone levels).

So I’m getting five tablespoons of peanut butter a day (94 calories per tablespoon).  I also get a large salad (95 calories per serving, figure five servings).  I add in those beefy celery stalks (19 calories each x 5 = 95 calories).  Round everything up to 100, I’m getting six hundred calories in the morning and five hundred more calories at night.

Now, you can do a neat trick where you measure how many calories you would burn if you slept all day.  With my body mass, I burn through 1875 calories a day.  Add light activity (ie. brushing your teeth, sitting all day), and I burn through an additional 938 calories.  So according to all calories logic, I should be losing weight.

Last night I gained 0.2 pounds.

Ok, stop with your rationalizations.  I didn’t sleep eat, I didn’t consume anything differently.  I went running yesterday, which burned more calories, not less.  I defy anyone who believes the calories mantra to explain to me where the &(*)&& the extra weight came from.  Not that I didn’t lose weight.  I’ll accept handwaving about metabolic slow down.  Where did I get EXTRA weight?  Does my body have a fifth-dimensional fat storage that I normally don’t see?  Where did it come from?

Look at the numbers.  I’m not even close.  I should be scrawny as a duckling.  My body burned through 2813 calories yesterday without the run.  I ate 1100 calories.  That leaves me a deficit of 1713.  Add in the run, and I burned an extra 298 calories.

Over 2000 calories of deficit.  What I didn’t eat would feed someone well for a day.  It is also roughly twice the “average” plan for successful weight loss.

So I feel for you, dieters of America.  I feel that you have been fed a pile of hooey.  I also feel for all those people out there who think they are smart enough to write diet books telling all of us how to eat.  Because they don’t know what they are talking about.  Truly, I have yet to see anyone, in any diet book, explain how a body gains weight while running a deficit.

Now, in my body, I think I know what’s going on.  But only in my body.  What works for me will not necessarily work for you.  I think I had a little dressing on my salad that contained salt.  Dum Dum Dum!  In my body a little salt goes a VERY long way.

So if you haven’t done what I’ve done and journaled what works and what doesn’t, start writing it down (you don’t have to post it online like I did, but I wanted you to be able to see my results).  Your own body is not going to be explained to you by some svelte twenty-something with stainless steel buttocks.

Each of us must take responsibility for our own bodies.  I’m writing a book about it.  But in the book I make it clear that I don’t have all the answers.  Just remember, neither does anyone else.

BTW, of course the peanut butter I eat is salt-free.  It’s about knowing your body.

Best of luck!

3 Replies to “The Peanut Butter and Celery Diet: Weight Loss At Its Simplest.”

  1. If a little salt is causing you to gain weight then that “gain” is likely just water weight and will at some point disappear over a longer period than one day.

  2. A sixteen-pound weight gain over a weekend may be “just water weight” and it will eventually disappear, but how is one to truly know how much one weighs if that much fluctuation from non-caloric salt is possible?

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