Posted by: Chris Maloney | March 13, 2012

The Lean Belly Prescription: Should You Pay “Four Easy Installments of 7.99?”

English: Photo of Dr. Travis Stork when he vis...

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Warning.  The following contains a great deal of sarcasm.  Please read with an enormous grain of potassium (salt being off limits these days).

You know, when I’m looking for a diet plan for pre- and postmenopausal women, I always think I should ask a Tennessee ER doctor like Dr. Travis Stork.  Because he’s going to have really detailed knowledge about what works long term, having spent years counseling patients about their diets between triaging their car accident injuries.

If that seems a little far fetched for you, then you’ve already decided that Travis Stork‘s new Lean Belly Prescription is probably not for you.  But if you’d like to buy this book, Prevention Magazine has a 26 page supplement you should look at first.

Let’s have a quick look at the back cover.  I could lose 15 pounds in four weeks.  I doubt I’d look like the heroin waif they have pictured, but still…

Oh, and look, it’s easy.  According to this supplemental magazine I could simply “avoid watching TV at a key moment and save hundreds of calories a day!”  Ooh, that IS easy.  (Spoiler alert:  don’t watch during dinner times).

I really can’t do this supplemental justice, but it’s clear to me that anyone who followed any of Dr. Stork’s prescriptions would simply waste away to nothing!  On page 10, I could literally “cut 24,000 calories a year without any conscious effort to eat more or less?”  24,000 calories?  Isn’t that the equivalent of starving myself for ten days?

Drinking water, I’ll drop another 13% of my calories.  Using aromatherapy, I’ll eat 2,700 calories less every week.  (Equivalent to one full day of starvation – that’s STRONG peppermint!)

But wait, there’s more.  I also get “101 sex and health secrets for women,” included as a free gift.  It includes “the simple household task he can do that will rev up your love life immediately.”  I’m stricken with wonder.  Is it “put the seat down so you don’t fall in” or “change his underwear at least once a month”?  Maybe  it’s “brush his teeth” but that’s more of a personal hygiene issue than a household task.  I hope it’s not “shave his body so he won’t shed,” because that’s just mean.

So far, I’ve been promised the moon for what is basically $28, for a book I could pick up at Barnes and Noble for the same or on Amazon for about $16.  It just makes me suspicious that what I’m really doing when I send in my card is sign up for many, many more “wonderful offers” as they sell my name for cash.

In terms of the Lean Belly Prescription, I’m going to have to say Dr. Stork is cashing in on his chiseled good looks without giving me a particular reason to think his diet is different.  I fully expect this particular gem to be available at the dollar store discount rack in two years, because diet books generally have that kind of shelf life.

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