Posted by: Chris Maloney | February 13, 2011

A New Take On Weight: We’re Big Because We’re the Dominant Superpower!

"Get fat on Lorings Fat-ten-u and corpula...

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Ok, so I went to the NIH for new information on the weight loss crusade. 

Here’s what I found:
•The same amount of energy IN and energy OUT over time = weight stays the same (energy balance)
•More energy IN than OUT over time = weight gain
•More energy OUT than IN over time = weight loss
Here’s their site.
So what they’re saying is that calories are the only thing that matter?
I was honestly appalled. I thought they’d at least have a link to the food pyramid.

So I went to that fount of wisdom, medline, to see what’s new in the world of diet research. This just in! Did you know that overweight people have more difficulty than normal weight people resisting tasty snacks that are set before them?  Really!  They just finished a study entitled:  “Ecological Momentary Assessment of Obesogenic Eating Behavior: Combining Person-Specific and Environmental Predictors.”  It’s a mouthful, and that’s how they got their funding for all the parties they threw and invited their friends.  I think I want to become a researcher if that’s all that is necessary.  But it doesn’t help anyone.  They concluded that overweight persons should avoid tasty, high calorie temptations.  I hope the next study is:  “What overweight people do to you when all you serve are celery sticks.”

But here’s a great study.  A reminder here, we cannot actually starve people the same way we do animals.  We have lots of proof from mice and rats that weight loss and weight gain are very complicated matters, but this is a study on Rhesus monkeys, who are pretty close to humans.  They found that weight gain and weight loss was dependent on social status as well as hormonal fluctuation.  “Dominant females were significantly heavier than subordinate animals throughout the study, a result consistent with previous accounts of food intake when animals are fed a low-fat, high-fiber diet.”  So that’s the problem!  We’re a superpower and it’s stressing us all out, making us heavy.  So let’s let China? take over.  Hmmm… Maybe India

But the good news is that:  “Dominant animals lost significantly more weight than subordinate animals during E2 treatment.”  In other words, hormonal changes make more of a difference to us dominant folks.

Well, at least we know the weight is the price of success.  We’re a superpowah!  A roly poly, super powah! 


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